Archive for December, 2007

Tdy is the last year of 07

31st Dec 07,

Thank god 2007 is finally coming to an end, a brand new year will be in tml! I feel good about this year even though it comes and goes with out a word saying goodbye! Why I feel good? Well I not very sure particularly but then I really feel good is ending soon!

I have been giving myself a few thoughts :

- I have come to an age that I hate working for pte ltd co.

- I hate having a desk bound job, that tied you down frm 830am to 1030pm!

- I hate myself not having a life and lock up inner self!

-I hate hacullination on how can be my life better here!

See I have listed out so many things that I hate! Am I running away from reality? I wonder!

I guess its time for me to move on, pack my things and continue my journey! A journey to my dream!

Here she comes… rrrgh..

“Hi Regina, how are you DOING?” I turned around and acted in a surprise way, “Oh god gracious, look who is standing in front (under this disco lights which i hardly could see her) of me, I nearly can’t recognise it was you, Susan (you the bitch). I really hated her when I was in high school and I cant imagine I have to face this bitch again. The worst part is she is wearing this glittering weird dress. She laughed and stretched out her hand to give me a “friendly” handshake. I guess she has read my facial expression, and she  said,”Oh this thing is an old collection from Prada, but I loved so I buy it off immediately from the shelf.”

Oh yeah! I kept nodding my head… yeah you do look like P.R.A.D.A (Pig Running Along the  Desparate Alley). I smiled back as if I so keen to see her again! And the next moment, she introduce her boyfriend to me. “This is Jack, he is the CEO of …..” and Susan was trying to mouthed the company name out, but the music at the back ground is too loud for me to understand!

Well why is this world so big that I have to run into her at my working place. Why in the world in this club? Shit!

I told her I was sorry I really need to do some stuff, and I scurried through the crowd!

A good Sermon last year of the Sunday

Tdy 30th Dec and is the last sunday in the year of 07.

I quite enjoy tdy sermon, is not particularly about Rev Tay present his sermon but is the way how he revealed the word of god in a new “technology” way. Tdy sermon started off with Rev Tay telling us this story…

In a far way place, there is a village that uses cow to determine how valued their daughters are. If the girl’s family received one cow, it show that their daughter look is ok. If the girl’s family received two cows, it show their daughter is pretty. If the girl’s family received three cow, it show their daughter is as pretty as Miss USA. Thats the most and maximum of cow you received if your daughter is really very very pretty. So in a corner, there is this family who has only daughter. The look of their daughter is plain and her face pull as long as a papaya. No man wants to come foward and propose to her. Her dad is real sad and worried that her daughter will never have the chance to get married! So one day he announced that, any man jst any man who is going to marry my daughter I will give them one cow! So one day, a young handsome prince from another village came and propose to her father. Her father was shocked and thought that the prince has come to the wrong village and the wrong house. So the father asked: ” Are you sure you have come to the right place? You could have been mistaken.” “Dear Sir, I am very sure that I have come to the right place and its not a mistaken,” replied the young handsome prince and he continued : “Well I have also bought gift “, as he said he claps his hands. A servant pulled out a cow from the bush. Her father was surprised and he was joyful to know that her daughter worth one cow! “Not only that…,” smiled the young handsome prince and he continued to clap his hands. The servant pulled out another cow. “Wow, now my daughter worth two cows,” said her father in a joyful tone! “And more…”, while the young handsome prince clapped his hands. The servant pulled out another cow! This time her father and mother was dancing together and shouting “Our daughter worth three cows!” The daughter that is peeping behind her door room, was full of joy and all of her sudden she no longer have that long face that pull as long as papaya. She smiled, her eyes brighten and she started to dance around in her room with joy!

While her father and mother were dancing with joy, the young handsome prince continue to clap his hands and more cows were pulled out! The young handsome prince stopped clapping at the 8th time. Thus in total he brought 8 cows to propose to her daughter. Her daughter not worth one or two but eight cows! The long pulling face daughter has now change into a young confidence lady that walk around with her head high!

So the moral of this story is, sometimes we need to be confidence in ourselves and not judge by what others think of you! God is alwys there beside us and he is the one that judging us. To him we are the precious and nobody can take that truth away! He who gave up his own son and saved us from evil; has make a point that we are strong in him and thou shalt not believe in this world but in god’s words! Amen!

so SlEepY… zZZzZZz

I am very sleepy tdy.. really very tired.. its all bcos of my menses.. everything its here .. it really disrupt everything I do!

Now I cant even concentrate on my work.. cos half of the time I abt to nod my head and doze off to look for Alice in the sleeping land! Oh man.. this is really bad.  I kept eating and chewing.. kept talking on skype … to keep myself awake .. but its hard!

So what shld I do.. I hve no idea man.. I really hate first day! Arrgh!!! So frustrating!

I HATE IT!!!! Hahaha..

I wonder what is my baby doing .. guess he still sleeping like a sleepy boy! He mst be really tired frm his trip! Love my baby!

Surprise! surprise! sUrPRise!

My mood has chnge 360 degrees.. I am so happy and glad to receive this .. : My love frm far away send to me! isnt it sweet! I just couldnt stop myself frm smiling! I love it .. I love it! I really do love it!

Baby if you are reading it! Many love to you! Smuak!

Another dream.. but itsWEIRD!

After what happen yst … after hving this heart thumping dream..  I have another weird dream today!

I dreamt myself at the embassy trying to get a chop to immgrate out of Spore. And my friend was also there.. she was jst a few queues behind me. Whn it was my turn, the guy that serve me was quite impatient! He took out a big brown paper, the paper is those nice papers that have decorative back ground. Its not a size of A4 but size of A3. Its strange that use something like cotton bud to stick on the blanks and I don’t remeber seeing my passport size photo! The guy tld me is done and ask me to move to the foyer to listen to a talk! So I walk over and my friend was right behind me. My friend as one of the in charge where are we supposed to sit. The in charge was also impatient and said,” Cant you see I make such a big space for everyone? Just go find a sit!” I was shocked with her attitude!

And thats where I woke up again!

After hving two dreams in a row.. is it really telling me something? I wonder you know!

What could it be!

Bad Dream…

I woke up with heart thumping real fast.

I have a bad dream.. a bad one.  I dreamt abt my cousin’s husband asking me to help him on one of his insurance survey and what I need to do is to try out the leg massage. So he wrap my left leg and the machine start to massage! It was nice and relax. Soon after he unwrapped me, he grinned at me and left me. Oh my god! That’s the first sentence that come out from my mouth! My left thigh was full of red swollen sores and each sores brought a tingle pain! Can you imagine if you add up all this tiny pains together .. its REALLY painful!

I ran round telling my relatives and my family but no one believes me and kept laughing at me for spouting nonensence. Eventually I sat down crying and jst then my colleague, C came by and I told her what happen! She looked at my wounds carefully and she believed in me! She held me up and whn we abt to leave… I was brought to another place.

I saw my cousin’s husband again with his evil smile, this time round I was wearing in a long white gown both hands tied to the bed. I kept struggling, but I was too weak to fight him! He was holding a sharp sisscors and he started to cut up my finger, esp my forefinger. I was screaming in pain! The pain was so bad that I faint… and thats where I woke up!

I woke up with a thumping heart and I really wonder what it mean!

I know my cousin husband’s don’t hate me or dislike me.. but I know its trying to tell me something!

Oh my god!

I have no idea what is happening to me! I have been very moody. Sometimes I woke up from my dream and I will be sitting up crying! Am I really in the state of depression? I wonder!

Is the stress at work that I cant handle or what? Sometimes, I feel like running away frm where I stayed! I feel like packing everything and jst travel round the world with penniless. I feel like jst taking a step out my own comfort circle and do things that I alwys wanted to!

I cant stand the surroundings that I am in! It drives me crazy! It really does! I want to leave! If I leave too sudden, please do forgive me!

Lost again!

Heavy dark clouds form above my head,

Driving fast on the highway with my old bumper car,

Can’t waste any seconds or minutes,

I am breathless,

My vision on the highway went blurred.

I have no idea where I should go!

First tiny rain drop fell on to my old bumper car roof top…

Soon the rest join in and the rain just get bigger and bigger…

———————————————————–

Now writing a poem that mke no sense, it shows how a writer like me can be confused and lost!

Whatssup with them!

I have no idea .. whatssup with parents now a days… I really find that we are facing generation gap with them! I alwys thought that our parents, my parents esp born in the baby boomer time, will have less friction and better communication with their kids! But then apparently, it doesnt look like this!

Sometimes, I really have no idea how shld I feel or just simply ignore them! They love to ask you lots of qns, but each qns alwys comes with their assumption! Sometimes if you felt that is not truth, not right and you stand up for your right, you get criticise for begin rude! Whatssup with them! They only want to hear what they imagine even its not true… So I hve learn to live a life not to be so bother by their qns and their ans… let their assumption kills them but leave me ALONE!

So I have really no idea.. whatssup with the parent’s mind! They said we are complicated.. but actually they are and thats what they make us into! Isnt it?

« Previous entries