Sitting right here, starring at my PC screen…
My whole mind went blank for a while!
Oh man, this is bad!
I have no idea what I am doing right now!
Maybe right now I am drunk by own victory and happiness!
I hope I will wake up feeling OK and not hangover!
Foolish me,
Foolish myself,
Foolish I,
Damn foolish asshole!
How could I…
Why should I…
When will I…
What would I…
Where should I…
Foolish.. Foolish… Foolish!
Gosh, my water pipe is going to burst any time with tears!
I did anticipated that mum will not be supportive of me taking a bachelor but I never expected him having the same response as my mum! Not very anticipated, no encouragement but forcing me to face the reality! Gosh why are this two ppl that I love doing this to me!
Since the day I born into this family how much sacrifices did I make? I didnt expect any good returns.. but hope for the better. I gave up the dream of going to university and let my bros do… and now I just want to do what I want… why I wasnt given the chance? Is this all fate, written in the book of life? I don’t knw.
Anyway, I expected that he will support my idea and saying go ahead n do it! He is impt to me, but I dont think I am to him. Gosh, I cant believe that …its always like that.. life alwys making a fool out of you!
He is so impt to me and I expected and waited for his support but was not given. On the other hand, the least expected person gave you the most support! Oh gosh, why is the world turning upside down?
I have decided to follow Jesus,
I have decided to follow Jesus… Remembering this song its like reminding my life on earth!
Most of the time, I have a hard time to make a decision on every little things I do! Sometimes, I have to argue over an issue for a very long long time before a conclusion can be made! So who am I, am I really suitable for this job, Should I further upgrade myself? should I this, should I that? Thus it took forever for me to say yes to something that I really want! After all, I not a good risk taker isnt it!
This time round, I have decided regardless what mum is going to say! Its my life and I have to make it work. Well, I have decided to follow my dreams…
I have decided to take a Bachelor In Mass Communication ( Journalism),
I have decided to take a Bachelor In Mass Communication ( Journalism),
No turning back, No turning back!
God blessed me the strength and show me the road to my success!
Thank you Lord!
Love you always!
I sure glad that I didnt followed my childhood dream of becoming a nurse or a doctor!
Its freaks the hell out of me after watching the first season of House. The director whom make the House must have done lots of research or maybe he alwys wanted to be part of the medical team, my guessing is his unfortunate turn into something else. The every detail was narrowed out with every complication diagnose, with all the screwing, cutting, splurging of blood really amaze me and freak me out at the same time! Now I thank god that he didnt make me into a nurse or a doctor! But I really wonder what is he trying to make me into? Not a nurse, not a doctor, not a admin worker, not a teacher, but what? I have been struggling in and out, what I want for my life. I living in an endless life looking for clues, sign, from any source to tell me where I should go! Its tough, I hope that what I had decided that Lord you could blessed it as a true calling for me to do it! Help me oh lord! If you agreed on my decision, make it work for me! Love you my lord!
To stop myself frm going crazy about what future lies in front of me, I finally make up my mind to take up a degree course i/o forever begin a diploma holder! I check out on a few website on the course that I want, it come out to three available universities : Oklahma (in USA), Monash (in AUS) and Murdoch (in AUS). I read every details such as the background, the electives they have and etc but I still unable to come out a choice. I decided to ask my friend to help me and that was easy.
My friend actually graduate out from Murdoch as a degree holder in Marketing and Media, which now she is doing very good in Australia. She kept telling that I should go Murdoch and check out what other degree is available so that I will be updated and when I graduate out I will have better prospect! I hope so too and hope is not late to learn what I want!
I really took freaking 4yrs to come and understand what I want to do.
God bless me with the strength , the energy, the knowledge, the right people to achieve my dream!
I met up this guy that who loves to say and do f***K. Every word he use in his every sentence, he will use f***K. Apparently, he is also very open to share F***King life with me. He will describe every details how he screwed that girl up and how the girls try to get close with him… blah blah and this really discomfort me.
I wanted to tell him, yeah you can keep all these details to yourself as I m not interested in and definitely wont become any part of your life too!
Now, he is telling me he just want to get settle down and hve a lovely wife. Thus, I told don’t waste it then go look! I can see that this man, who love to F***k everywhere he goes actually has a soft spot in him! He does love the girl he went out with before but it seem that it never work out long for him. I guess a hard nut case like him would not likely easy for him to find one that break the spot!
I wish him all the best in looking for his future wife. Love the way he is and his F***king life.
