Yesterday, I was watching Sex n the City.
Carrie was hysterically talking about how badly she want to get laid, the hardcore begin screw up by another man! She wanted so badly that she get dreaming about it. ********
So coming back to real life, sometimes I felt that way too! The need of a man to be on top of me. Is it wrong to feel this way or is it because loneliness have been staying with me for too long? I wonder? I need that really badly and its missing for a very long time!
I do not know what happen to me yesterday! Hubert was online with me for two hrs and I do not know what get into me, I was throwing my temper at him and which really pissed him off!
I know no matter how many apologises I said cant erased what I do yesterday!
I kind of fed up with everything I have! I want a change seriously, change for the better! I working very hard to look for alternatives to reach my goal. Like I told him, I am scare of the future, the fear is there. His reply was the best and sort of awake me up : – we create the future and so don’t be scared! Yup he is right, we create the future. Therefore, I hve to do something about it! Rather putting it in black n white! Just do it! 
“Hi Regina, how are you DOING?” I turned around and acted in a surprise way, “Oh god gracious, look who is standing in front (under this disco lights which i hardly could see her) of me, I nearly can’t recognise it was you, Susan (you the bitch). I really hated her when I was in high school and I cant imagine I have to face this bitch again. The worst part is she is wearing this glittering weird dress. She laughed and stretched out her hand to give me a “friendly” handshake. I guess she has read my facial expression, and she said,”Oh this thing is an old collection from Prada, but I loved so I buy it off immediately from the shelf.”
Oh yeah! I kept nodding my head… yeah you do look like P.R.A.D.A (Pig Running Along the Desparate Alley). I smiled back as if I so keen to see her again! And the next moment, she introduce her boyfriend to me. “This is Jack, he is the CEO of …..” and Susan was trying to mouthed the company name out, but the music at the back ground is too loud for me to understand!
Well why is this world so big that I have to run into her at my working place. Why in the world in this club? Shit!
I told her I was sorry I really need to do some stuff, and I scurried through the crowd!
